Scariest Vampires Evah ... You Vote!

What Vampire Produces The Biggest Emotional Reaction In You As "The Baddest" of Bad? 


OPTION 1: Dwight Renfield (Stephen King's "Night Flier)

OPTION 2: Kurt Barlowe (Stephen King's Salem's Lot)

OPTION 3: Plague-carrying vampires as in Nosferatu

OPTION 4: Radu from Subspecies (Bloodstorm)

OPTION 5: Jared Nomac (Blade II)

OPTION 6: Mark Metcalf (of Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

OPTION 7: 30 Days of Night Vampires

Zen And The Art of Vampires (Fun But Not Too Zen)

Zen And The Art Of Vampires (7th book in the "A Dark Ones Novel" series) by Kate MacAlister. $7.99 paperback.


This novel offers a rather humorous look at Pia Thomason, 39, a seemingly ordinary single looking for romance on her tour to Europe. During the journey the reader enjoys experiencing murder, mistery and intrigue.


CAUTIONS: While the title of this book includes the word "ZEN" there is little of the sort. The main character is rather awkward/clumsy and engages in a non-committed type sexual relationship, even when it means having sex with her new closest male-friend's best buddy regardless of how that might seem to him. 


DESCRIBING BELIEVABLE SEX:
"He was warm and male and pretty much fit the description of every fantasy man I'd ever imagined. I slid into bed beside him, crossing my fingers that he wouldn't insist on feeling all the pudgy parts of me. Men liked breasts -- maybe if I could keep him interested in those, he wouldn't notice my stomach and thighs and just exactly how big my butt was." (p. 77)


HUMOROUSLY, AFTER HER VAMPIRE LEAPS FROM THE BALCONY (AS POLICE ARE COMING) HE CALLS UP TO HER, URGING HER TO ALSO JUMP:
     "All women think they're too fat. I'm perfectly capable of catching you, regardless."
     His fingers were splayed on my hips, his breath brushing my lips. We were fitted together in an intimate way that seemed to make thinking difficult. His gaze dropped to my mouth, and I started to tingle all over at the thought of kissing him. 
     A voice shouting from the balcony roused us both.
     "Get moving," he growled as I rolled of him, quickly getting to my feet.


LATER (DURING THIS SAME ESCAPE)
     "Holy crap!" I yelled as he took the corner on what felt like only two wheels. "Are you trying to kill us?" 
     "The thought had crossed my mind," he ground out, his eyes glittering in the darkness as he sped out of town.


This book seemed very fun and light hearted as a quick read. 

QUOTATIONS FROM BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER - Book 4

Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Who Will Stop the Vampires Stalking L.A.? (Book Four In The BTVS Series) Novelization by Richie tankersley Cusick. Based on the screenplay by Joss Whedon.


This book offers a very quick and humorous read that any Buffy fan is sure to enjoy. It's not labored down with detail but instead leaves much up to the reader's imagination.


HERE ARES SOME QUANTITATIVE EXAMPLES:
 (P. 51): As Merrick, who trains vampire slayers, told Buffy to sit besides the 3-day-old grave belonging to deceased Robert Berman, whose about to emerge for his first time as a vampire, Buffy, whose never met a vampire before, suddenly asks:
     "Do you have any gum?"  (Obviously she doesn't take this vampire-hunter assignment very seriously. It's also possible that she assumes the vampire will look desirable as Vampire Eric Northman, of True Blood fame, and perhaps then she'll need fresh breath to get lucky).


HOW SOME VAMPIRES DIE: (p. 55)
     As Buffy rams a stake clean through a she-demon's heart (referred to as "woman" here) ... "The woman gave one final scream, her repulsive face still smoking even as she died."  (That's the extent of it - no bursting into a puff of smoke or slowly dying in agony as the vampire and slayer talk long about the things they wished they'd achieved before one of them kicked the proverbial bucket.)


SOME VAMPIRES ARE JUST TERRIBLY RUDE - Like Vampire Lothos :(p. 62)
     "Listen," Cassandra babbled desperately, "You don't want me. You want bodies, I'll help you. I won't say a word. I swear to God --."
     Lothos grabbed her so swiftly and suddenly that she didn't even have time to gasp before he broke her neck.
 "I wish you wouldn't mention Him," Lothos sighed, profoundly annoyed.


THOSE WHO TRAIN VAMPIRE HUNTERS CAN SEEM RATHER IMPATIENT:
Page 89: Merrick, who thinks Buffy is not taking her training seriously, scolds her, shamelessly.
     "What did you think, that being about to jump about and hit people makes you a Slayer?"


CONCLUSION:
Anybody whose even half-way cool will love reading this book. I found my copy at a local charity store (bought the paperback used for $2.99).

Are You Following Vamchoir On Twitter YET? (Fun Quotes)

In addition to quoting many vampires by a myriad of other authors, @Vamchoir has also tweeted these fun/ORIGINAL vampire statements:


NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY Suck the blood out of that bastard and return to the casket in peace.



Panicked, I realized half the people around had turned "werewolf" and, judging by bloodshot & yellow eyes, so would the other half ~Vamchoir


Ever just want to laugh: "Vlah-haha" for no apparent reason?


Oh I am in the loop! I'm just not into Lupins. ~ Vampire Dresmona (Ravena & The Resurrected)


He's no werewolf. He's hairy alright & howls at the moon but soon as ya say "boo" he begins sucking his thumb. ~ Ravena Doomlah


Admit it. You don't CARE about my ceramic owl collection, or the fact that I... Oooh. That vein! It keeps pulsing so temptingly in your neck (Vampire Dresmona)


Good morning. Welcome to Hell.


Some sexy/shapely soul kept stalking me, like, really close. Was about to say something, then, *DANG.* Realized: "just my shadow." Vlah-haha


Werewolves can shapeshift in any second. You could be laughing your ass off and suddenly your blood is all over someone's hair. ~ Vamchoir


Instead of taking a blood bath...some of the most heinous vampires prefer to rip off someone's head and dance in the resultant warm shower.


"Why don't vampires breathe?" You ask. So, I answer truthfully: "Being vampire is just way too exciting." (We hold our breath.) ~ Vamchoir


Avoiding vampires is like not paying taxes. Not only does the IRS know where you live but, if you're not careful, taxes can also suck ya dry


At a party and feel like a fire hydrant with all these werewolves staring at me like they badly need to relieve themselves ~Ravena Doomlah


Must spend less time stalking people and more time drinking their bloo-oo-ood. (This vampire girl is getting too skinny.) Vlah-haha.


@cyr [What's the BEST way to pay taxes?] ANSWER: With Money. It feels like the government wants your blood but it really only takes currency


Tami Jackson thinks cohabiting w/a vampire who cannot endure Sun would be such a pain. I mean, how in heck's s/he gonna help mow the lawn?


"Why doesn't that werewolf wanna love me? I keep holding the poor bastard by his hind feet & he's still trying to run away" ~Ravena Doomlah


I'm hungry thanks to you. (YOU make me hungry.) Vlah-haha ~ Ravena Doomlah


While Harker is leaving the premises as a large wolf I'm stuck being a vampire. Gotta learn shape-shifting someday soon. ~ Ravena Doomlah


To vampires, "burning rim of fire" has nothing to do with earthquakes. It means angry peasants with flaming torches now storm a single vampire. 


It's official. My book, Ravena & The Resurrected has a FACEBOOK fan page! Please click "LIKE" http://www.facebook.com/RavenaTheResurrected


Meet tall, marked and handsome (werewolves with the dark mark) in Ravena & The Resurrected. Available as an eBook, SunTigerMOJO.com

Follow Vamchoir on:

• Twitter
• Facebook
• Blogspot
• Smashwords
• Publisher

Quotations From "The Vampire Armand" by Anne Rice

When a book is just as interesting second go-around as it was upon first reading ... you know you've happened upon a masterpiece. That's how I feel about Ann Rice's book, "The Vampire Armand," where the writing is crisp and vivid.
Attempting NOT to quote the entire book, the following is just a few segments that I found thought provoking and worth sharing.

VAMPIRE REASSURANCE:
     No, little one, you are not dying. You are coming now into my protections, and perhaps if the stars are with us, if they are kind to us, you'll never die at all. (Pg. 31.)

 A VAMPIRE's EMBRACE:
     Once I lay half asleep. The air was rosy and golden. The place was warm. I felt his lips on mine, and his cold tongue move serpentlike into my mouth. A liquid filled my mouth, a rich and burning nectar, a potion so exquisite that I felt it roll through my body to the very tips of my outstretched fingers. I felt it descend through my torso and into the most private part of me. I burned. I burned. (Pg. 57.)

 ANNE'S CONVEYANCE OF VAMPIRE EROTICA:
     Golden honey was painted on my nether parts only to be licked away by giggling angels. (P. 65.)

 VAMPIRE OBSERVES A LITTLE BIT OF MYSTERY:
     I fixed my eyes on the tenacious little spirit
     "Why do you linger here?" I asked it desperately in a whisper. "Why can't I see you?"
     It moved its little mouth as if it meant to speak, but it only shook its head ever so slightly, piteously eloquent of its confusion.
     The steps came on. And once again I struggled to catch the scent. But there was nothing, not even the dusty reek of a vampire's robes, only this, the approach of this shuffling sound. And finally there came to the bars the tall shadowy figure of a haggard woman.
     I knew that she was dead. I knew. I knew she was as dead as the little one who hovered by the wall. (P. 251.)

 VAMPIRE OBSERVING DEATH:
     I lay back , and flung out my arm in careless despair and felt the child's corpse, still faintly warm beside me.
     I did not always see their ghosts.
     I did not seek to master the means of doing so.
     They were no friends to me -- it was a new curse -- these spirits would now and then collect about the scene of my bloody destruction. I saw no hope in their faces when they did pass through those moments of my wretchedness when the blood was warmest in me. No bright light of hope surrounded them. (Page 252.)

 HOW VAMPIRES CHOOSE WHOM TO TURN VAMPIRE:
... the Dark Gift, for that is what we called it, must never be given to those who were not beautiful, for the enslaving of the beautiful with the Dark Blood was more pleasing to a Just God. (P. 253.)

 WHY ANCIENT VAMPIRES SHOULD NEVER MAKE NEW VAMPIRES
... our powers increase with time and the power of the old ones is too great for the young. (p. 253.)

Interview With McCarty Griffin, Author Of Freakishly Fun Books

TAMI: What inspired you to write this particular book: Monster Story?


McCarty: Growing up, I was a dedicated fan of a show out of Pittsburgh called Chiller Theater with Chilly Billy Cardille. My mother and I would make a Chef Boyardee pizza and cuddle up on the couch to watch the Saturday night creature feature. I spent my childhood soaking up those wonderful old scary movies about werewolves, vampires, mummies, zombies and aliens. Just writing these words calls to mind that distinctive introductory riff of the show’s theme song and brings a nostalgic smile to my face. Later, in my teen years, I discovered wonderful horror authors like Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Peter Straub.  


TAMI: Do you ever have nightmares related to monsters and has that changed since writing the book?


McCarty: I’ve dreamed scary stories since my early childhood, fueled by my Saturday night viewing habits, no doubt. I can still remember several of those dreams vividly, especially the ones featuring the same monsters I had just watched the previous weekend. To this day, when I’m feeling particularly stressed, I dream about the living dead. Sometimes, I dream a story that I think I should write, but I have yet to do it. 


TAMI: How did you come up with the title?


McCarty: Well, at first it was a working title. You know, the kind you just make up off the top of your head the first time you save your work on the computer. The more I wrote, the more I realized that “Monster Story” was the only title I could possibly give it, because that’s what this book is; it’s a good old-fashioned monster story, where the creature is scary and terrified humans band together to save themselves from it. Readers won’t find any cross-species love stories in this book. The werewolf, even in his human form, is quite monstrous and I guarantee that most readers will be rooting for the main characters to destroy him.


TAMI: Which character in your book do you relate to the most and why?


McCarty: I relate to every single one of them, even the monster. I guess maybe that’s because I believe that every character a writer creates contains at least a small part of that writer’s psyche, and many times a whole lot more, whether they’re the “good guys” or the “bad guys.” I think every person has at least a tiny bit of villain somewhere inside. Most people wisely suppress those traits, sometimes with great effort, depending upon the individual. Writers are lucky in that they get to exorcise those villainous parts of their souls, through the creation of characters who can do and say all the terrible things most of us might briefly consider in a dark moment of anger, before sanity kicks back in and our civilized psyche reasserts itself. Writing a truly evil character can be surprisingly therapeutic.


TAMI: What would you say was the most interesting thing you learned from writing this book?


McCarty: I learned that even though I’m the one writing the book, and the person from whom presumably the characters spring, sometimes I’m surprised by how the plot and characters evolve, and what the characters sometimes do which is completely “out of character” for them. At times, Monster Story took on a life of its own, almost as if I wasn’t so much writing it as I was channeling it. 


TAMI: If you had to do it all over, would you write this particular book again? Why or why not?


McCarty: Yes, of course I would write Monster Story again, because it was a lot of fun. I just love a scary story, whether it’s a movie or a book. Turns out I enjoy writing them even more than watching or reading them. And surprisingly, although perhaps not to other writers, I grew emotionally attached to many of the characters, especially Christy and Graeme, and felt a little sad when the story was finished, as if I were saying good-bye to old friends. 


TAMI: If you were going to describe your targeted reader to a police profile artist, what would that reader look like?


McCarty: Okay, now that’s a hard one, because I’ve never really tried to target a specific type of reader. I’d like my story to have such a broad appeal that no such profile could ever be created. Is that asking for too much, for every reader to like my story?


TAMI: Please share your website URL and social media contact information.
McCarty: 

• McCartyGriffinBooksOnline.com
• smashwords.com/profile/view/McCartyHGriffin
• smashwords.com/books/view/29077
• smashwords.com/books/view/26849
• twitter.com/#!/McCartyGriffin
• facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100001766871369
• independentauthornetwork.com/mccarty-griffin.html

TAMI: Please share anything else you would like my subscribers to know about.


McCarty: I have a novella called Half-Inch on Smashwords.com and will soon publish a young adult book called The Tribe. I am currently writing a futuristic sci-fi called Sub. 


My books are also sold at Diesel, Kobo, Sony, Apple and Barnes & Noble. I hope they will soon be sold at Amazon.

Holidays.... and learners inheriting the earth

Well, you can tell the last week of term went by in a gallop!  Not a peep from this direction - too busy with everything else!

Also, I do love the tentacle in the last blog entry.  So very much.

A bonbon to leave with you to tide you over till the holidays end.




Will Richardson at TEDxNY in March 2011
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni75vIE4vdk

A screenshot of my favourite slide from his presentation: a quote I was using years ago, and which still (despite all that has changed) applies.

If you're on holidays too, enjoy.  If not, we will for you.  Ain't that kind?!

Cheers

Ruth

NSW public schools resume on the Wednesday after Easter for teachers, and the Thursday for students.

Currently Reading My Favorite Author's Work (Lori Handlehand)

When I grow up, I want to be able to write like Lori Handeland. She has been one of my favorite all-time authors, ever since she began producing the Nightcreature/Jager-Sucher novels. I know. I often admit that I do NOT like romance stories (and would not attempt to write such myself - thanks to my ultra-conservative upbringing and discomfort with spectator sex) but I definitely make an exception for reading Lori's dark fantasy books because she weaves every relationship into a much larger and more compelling mystery that's very fun to watch unfold naturally, like a Venus Flytrap, where the plot eventually snaps shut at the most opportune moment. In the meanwhile, the reader keeps waiting for that suspenseful moment to happen . . . the mysterious unraveling, I mean.


Hunter's Moon, by Lori Handeland ($4.99 in paperback)

Hunter's Moon is no exception to the anticipation and pleasure I've gained from every other one of Lori's werewolf books. This one is about a Jager-Sucher (werewolf hunter) named Leigh who had her soul ripped out through her throat the very day she watched her high school sweetheart and family get murdered by a werewolf-stalker who wanted to change Leigh into a creature of the night. Her boyfriend and family attempted to get in the way, protecting Leigh, and now they're all dead.


In spite of Leigh's visually disturbing horror, experiences that would have turned anyone else into an emotional zombie, she still has a pulsing heart. She just tries to keep her feelings under wraps while she goes about avenging all who were once very dear to her - by killing werewolves everywhere she meets one.


When a new love-prospect begins to bloom, the reader is very much engaged in the main characters' life and desperately hoping that Leigh and this gorgeous mystery man will seriously get together, romantically. This is where Lori's work is different from all those other romance books that I loathe, where the main characters start "going at it," sexually, from the beginning, long before the reader is emotionally invested in either party.


Because I always attempt to quantify the things I write about a book, here's a simple excerpt, from page 61, where Leigh has just met her understudy (female coworker) at the door and our lovely main character is walking around, completely naked. This short segment shows how engaging Lori's writing consistently proves to be.


     "You plan on getting dressed anytime soon?" Jessie asked, staring pointedly at the window.'
     I smirked. At last I'd rattled her cage. "You shy?"
     "I can see you're not."


As I was saying, Lori's work effectively tugs at your heart. In Hunter's Moon, you'll WANT the relationships to develop further because the individuals behind any chemical attraction scenario are inspiring and respectable. JagerSucher Leigh proves over and over again that she has heart and soul (so this reader relates to her, on a very committed level).

A beginner's guide to steampunk (+ a tentacle)

Abebooks.com, a large online second-hand bookselling site, has a useful beginner's guide to steampunk literature.

I recognised some of the titles highlighted on the page, and found others to follow up, for the school library and for me. (The image above is a screenshot - click on this link to go to the page and see it in readable detail).

The Wikipedia article on Steampunk is another place to start - not only the content, but also the links.  One of the footnotes, for example, takes you to this article from How Stuff Works, canvassing the genre and steampunk art/craft works/creations.

Searching the handmade craft site (beautiful beautiful things!) Etsy.com with the keyword 'steampunk' yields over 70,000 pieces of jewellery, clothing and more reflecting the steampunk aesthetic (as this screenshot demonstrates - what you see will vary constantly as items are sold and new items listed).

Cheers

Ruth

PS. If you narrow your Etsy search on steampunk to the most expensive items in the 'geekery - weird' category, you get some corkers.

I think the wall tentacle is my favourite.  Wouldn't that be a talking point in a school library??? (hmmm, would need to be on a high wall so it didn't put a student's eye out...!!)